Finally
by Akiko Natsuko
Summary: "Finally…" Jack's voice was gravelly, a far cry from the voice that had haunted Gabriel's memories, but he sounded like he had the day they'd heard the official announcement that the Omnic Crisis was over. Caught between relief and tears, a man facing a miracle that he had never thought possible.


Gabriel Reyes had made a lot of bad decisions, particularly over the last few years, but he had always had a justification for them. However, as he stood over the narrow bed in the corner of one of his old Blackwatch boltholes, watching as Soldier 76…or rather Jack Morrison, twisted and turned under the moth-ridden blankets he'd tossed over him, he couldn't find any rational explanation for his decision to rescue the soldier turned vigilante. Much less in such a public way, that there was no way that Talon was going to buy the fact that he hadn't been involved in Jack's very narrow escape, and he cursed explosively under his breath as he turned and stormed away from the bed.

It was always Jack.

He had almost reached the door, form beginning to shift and distort, ready to wraith away. After all, Jack was safe here, no one apart from Sombra knew about this place, and since she hadn't ratted out any of his other, more serious secrets it should be safe for now. Jack could rest and recover and then go back to being a thorn in his side.

Maybe that was why he hesitated, clawed fingers already on the handle. The simple, unquestioning assumption that Jack would recover, and still be there on the battlefield. A constant. A fixture, that he hadn't been aware that he still needed, until the fleeting thought that maybe it would disappear crept in, and he growled under his breath, before turning back to look at Jack. The anger was still there. The hate and resentment. The questions that he still needed answers to, answers that he wasn't sure the other man would ever give him. And yet… beneath it, all was still the echo of something softer, more the memory of a feeling, than the emotion itself, but it was enough to make him hesitate and eventually move away from the door.

"Damn you, Jack," he snarled, but the heat in the words was forced and fading. His form solidifying again as he moved back towards the bed, shedding his armour as he went, although he faltered before finally reaching up to remove his mask. Jack knew who he was, just as he knew who Jack was, even though neither of them had seen the other without their mask before. It was there in the way they fought, patterns and instincts formed over years of fighting side by side. Still, Jack didn't understand fully what he had become, and Gabriel was reluctant to see the horror in those blue eyes, and the slow, dawning realisation that he wasn't the same man Jack had loved.

Not, that Jack was aware of anything much right now, as he hadn't reacted to Gabriel's approach. His restless movements from before had settled a little, and Gabriel could hear his breathing from where he was, eyes narrowing, at the ragged, unsteady sound. _Just what have you been doing to yourself, Jack?_ He allowed himself to ask in the privacy of his own thoughts, concern colouring the question, as he reached the edge of the bed and settled on the edge. All humans felt cool to him these days, the heat created by the nanite activity to hold his body together screwing with his sense of temperature, but even he couldn't miss the heat radiating from the other man right now and after an eternal debate, that was more focused on cursing Jack and the situation he reached out.

Pulling back the covers, he set to work removing the ridiculous jacket first, not quite ready to face what lay behind the visor and mask just yet. As much as he was tempted to just rip it off, he was careful with it, setting it at the end of the bed, a frown forming as he took in the state of the body armour beneath. He knew that Jack had been active, after all, Talon had been pressing him to take care of the problem, but it was tattered and torn, right through in places, and when he looked closer, he realised that the skin beneath was filthy and bloody too. As though Jack hadn't even bothered to patch himself up, and his hands clenched. _Or should that be, what haven't you been doing Jack?_

Deep down he had known that Jack wasn't trying to be a hero anymore, even though that had been what he had said every time they had fought. He had seen the way Jack threw himself into battle, not as someone wanting to save the day, but as someone with nothing left to lose. _Someone like him…_ Yet there had always been a line, a hesitation, that had stopped Jack from going too far in the risks he was taking. As though there was something that Jack still had to do. Hell, that was why he had realised something was badly wrong today because Jack had crossed that line, throwing himself into battle with no sense of control or awareness of what was happening around him.

It had been like he wasn't even there, and…

Movement caught his attention, and he froze as Jack's head tilted towards him, although it was impossible to tell if his eyes were focused on him or what his expression was, and then the other man's hand shot out, gripping his wrist. "Finally…" Jack's voice was gravelly, a far cry from the voice that had haunted Gabriel's memories, but he sounded like he had the day they'd heard the official announcement that the Omnic Crisis was over. Caught between relief and tears, a man facing a miracle that he had never thought possible.

"_Finally…" Jack had been the one to break the silence that had fallen over the cramped room, the battered and bruised Strike Team crammed around the holo-screen. "It's finally over…" Gabriel had envied him for a moment, unable to get his own voice to work, to give words to the emotions rising in his chest as he watched the announcement replay. Then he looked at Jack properly, and the envy melted away. Jack had said the words like a prayer or benediction, but his expression betrayed the fact that he didn't dare believe it. That some part of him was waiting for the other shoe to drop, and for the war to swallow them up once more, and Gabriel took a deep breath before reaching for him and pulling him close._

"_It's over," he murmured, kissing Jack slow and deep. A promise and a prayer of his own. Their first kiss in this new reality._

Gabriel had forgotten that moment, or rather he hadn't let himself think about it, because thinking of those times hurt. The possibility, the hope, the promise. It had all burned so bright, so beautiful against the backdrop of everything that had been lost that they hadn't been able to see that it was dangerous in its own way. Now, he couldn't help but remember it as he stared down at the fingers wrapped around his wrist, the grip worryingly weak, and nothing like the desperate strength in the arms that had wrapped him that day. Wishing that he had removed Jack's visor and mask now so that he could what expression the other man was wearing.

"Finally?" He echoed finally when it seemed as though Jack wasn't going to continue, wincing as he heard his own ruined voice. Jack jolted as though he had forgotten what was happening, and the concern that Gabriel had been trying to keep at bay intensified, as Jack shook his head slowly from side to side. "Jack, what is it?" It was surprisingly easy to soften his voice, and his heart ached at the familiarity of it all, even as he moved to crouch down, careful not to disrupt the hand still gripping his rest. "Jackie?"

"I wasn't sure I'd get to see you again," Jack mumbled, sounding like someone caught up in a dream, even as his voice cracked and broke in the middle. An age-old grief breaking through. It wasn't the first time Gabriel had heard that emotion in his voice since they'd found one another again on the battlefield, a growl rising in the back of his throat, remembering how Jack had dared to sound that way the first time they'd confirmed that the other was alive. He was about to pull away, anger overwhelming the other emotions bubbling up at having Jack so close, and with the past pressing in around them, when Jack's grip tightened just a little. Still an echo of Jack's usual strength, but enough to anchor him in place as the other man seemed to struggle to lift his head to look at him, before losing the battle and falling back with a defeated sigh. "I…wanted to see you."

"I'm here, Jack."

"N-no." There was fear now, and something darker. Something that had Gabriel's stomach tying itself in knots in a way that it hadn't for years. Suddenly, the fact that he couldn't see Jack's face was too much. He had always been able to read Jack, but right now, it was like he was staring at a text in a foreign language and he hated it. Hated it more than he had ever managed to hate Jack, and he reached out, suddenly desperate to see the face that he had spent so long cursing for refusing to fade in his memories.

It was hard work one-handed, but Jack wasn't letting go of his other wrist and to be honest, Gabriel wasn't entirely sure that he wanted to. Still, he cursed more than once as he fought with the clasps, eventually losing his patience, nanites and smoke hardening at the ends of his fingers, giving him inhuman claws that sliced through the straps and hardened material as though it was paper. Jack was pliant through it all, almost seeming unaware of what Gabriel was doing.

Or, rather completely unaware, Gabriel amended when he was finally able to pull the visor and mask away, tossing them carelessly onto the floor, and finding himself confronted with the full reality that it was Jack in front of him. Zurich and the years that had followed had not been kind to Jack. Age and stress were etched into his face, and yet he was still handsome, the features that Gabriel had loved so much still there beneath the changes. And he had reached out, claws melting away so that it was gentle, shaking fingers that traced the scars across Jack's face, before he realised that the blue eyes were fever-bright and unfocused, gliding over him and the room without comprehension and then repeating the motion. Colour sat high in otherwise pale cheeks, sweat beading across his forehead, and Gabriel frowned, before leaning forward as he lightly tapped Jack's cheek, trying to gain his attention.

"Jack, look at me," he ordered, and for a moment the tone seemed to be enough as Jack stiffened, almost as though he was trying to draw himself to attention as he was, and the dazed gaze drifted towards him.

"Gabe…?" He sounded torn, disbelief and relief, hope and fear, so may emotions in that single way, and then his expression contorted, and the grief that Gabriel had heard in his voice before was written across his face as it crumpled. "I wanted…I wanted to see you…" He whispered it as though it was a secret. As though he hadn't said the same thing moments before, and Gabriel frowned, before looking at him again as Jack shivered beneath his touch, realising that he had no idea what was happening as the blue eyes grew unfocused again. "I wanted to see Gabe…just once…" Jack continued, no longer talking to Gabriel, but to the air, what brief focus he'd had disappearing. "…wanted...to say sorry… not that it would matter…"

"It would," Gabriel whispered before he could stop himself. The anger was still there, perhaps it would always be there, and an apology couldn't change that. Not even between them, but… it was the first time he'd heard it. Before, neither of them had been willing to back down, and even though the words had been in the air between them, and in stolen kisses and touches, the words had never been spoken. Then it had been too late. And after, Gabriel hadn't been in any state to listen to what Jack had to say, and Jack had been searching for something that couldn't be put into words. And now, now Jack was staring at him, not quite seeing him, but seeming to hear him, the words penetrating the feverish haze that gripped him, his hold on Gabriel's wrist turning bruising now.

"Gabe…I'm sorry, I'm so sorry…."


End file.
